A Safe Place
by xoThanksForTheMemoriesxo
Summary: All she saw were confusing colors. "Everything is going to be okay," the man said as he and another man lifted her up onto a stretcher. They threw a warm blanket over her naked body. She could hear him talking on her phone with the lady, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. Someone turned the volume down. Her eardrums… Previously known as "Across the Eyes."
1. Chapter 1

**First off I do not own High School Musical nor am I affiliated with the franchise. I started writing this story years ago and it's been eating away at my soul for its entirety. This story just sucks and I've developed and changed so much as a writer. I changed the title, it was previously titled ACROSS THE EYES. I've rewritten it and decided to make it shorter. So many of you have been so loyal and patient and I cannot die without finishing this lame-ass story. So with that being said, if you'd like to read it then continue. If you would like to read something else I will not be offended. If you're an old reader, thank you for sticking with me. If you're a new viewer, well then thank you as well. You will not be waiting as long as my other fellow fangirls and fanboys have, I promise. Thank you all.**

…

She guided it out of her body after one final push. True ecstasy. The fucking release.

How long had it been? All day, all night, it was now early morning. Her lips were chapped and her throat was burnt up from the hidden lion groans her towel masked.

Her eyes were squeezed shut, so afraid to see if it was a boy or a girl. She had no desire to know, that was the one thing that she could do to help herself. By thinking calling it a thing, an "it." She wasn't required to love it.

She didn't have to care.

But that was how she felt then, now she couldn't resist the urge to look just as she couldn't resist the urge to push. Some things are just involuntary and you have no control over them.

A girl. She looked down and saw the still body of her baby daughter. And damn she was beautiful.

The newborn love she had for this child was instant. Instinctive, unintentional, spontaneous. It was an accident. She never wanted to care so much but she just couldn't help it. Nothing felt more natural than the insistence to pick it up and hold it against her hot, slick skin.

It wasn't fair. She didn't understand how she was supposed to just wrap her up and drive her to a safe place and leave her there. How could she even get the strength to go through with it? There were so many things she never thought through.

Sharpay didn't think that it was going to be so hard to carry a baby for nine months and then give birth to it by herself. Women had been having babies for thousands of years, how was she any different? Birth was supposed to be the most natural thing ever, so why did this make her want to cower in shame?

It was for the baby, she had to remind herself of that. She couldn't keep it. They wouldn't let her keep it. The best thing that she could do now was get it someplace safe where it would be looked after and cared for. The hospital could decide what to do then. She was too young to know what the right thing was. She just knew that she couldn't make any more mistakes. If it were up to her, there was one thing she would do right by this baby, and that was get it to a safe place. Somewhere she could walk away without a fight.

The baby, she…she was so little. Sharpay noticed how tranquil the child seemed.

So…unmoving. So…lifeless.

Babies were supposed to cry, weren't they? That's how they start to breathe. It wasn't crying… In fact, if it weren't her own baby it could've fooled her for a little doll. The face was frozen like porcelain. The tiny hands lay limply on the tile floor.

And that's when another sensation started to creep in...dread? No, not dread, panic. Utter panic awakened inside of the young seventeen year-old. Her fingers went to the stomach of the baby.

"No, no, no, no…" she choked over and over, using every last bit of strength to hold herself together.

She prayed silently for a squeak, a cry. A gasp from the newborn human being, anything.

Her gut said to slap its bottom, like she saw the doctors do in the movies. But how could she do when her hands were shaking?

"Cry, cry…" she pleaded to the assumed dead child. Maybe her will was enough to bring it to life. Oh no…time was running out. She was no doctor, but she knew that the child should've been using its lungs by now.

Oh no, it hadn't.

"Cry, little angel," she begged. Her hands convulsing and fumbling to roll the child over, she had no idea what to do.

And then it cried.

Another release of nerves and fear left so quickly it was the perfect moment. She trembled as it lied there in between her legs. Alive, crying, the wet, bloody, creamy white body squirming restless on the floor. As she stared into those frightened eyes, she felt her throat tighten and her cheeks burn.

It was an accident, she never meant for it to go this far.

She rubbed its belly and grabbed the towel from beside her.

Her eyes met those tiny eyes that lay on the floor between her legs. She saw the wet hair on the little head and the little ears. The little eyelashes that spread across the eyes, making her think of butterfly wings.

Her hands began to wrap the child inside a cocoon, proving warmth and protection.

She gave into her temptation and picked up the little thing that cried for a chance. Sharpay never felt such completeness as she held it in her chest, its little nose cuddled into the valley of her breasts.

Denial to be a mother from this point forward was impossible. It was right in front of her, that little face that looked just like hers… so terrifying. She knew it would affect her but not like this.

She should've just told her mother. She tried to a million times. But every single time she started to…

How in the world was she going do this now? Everyone around her had proven to be oblivious but now there was absolutely no where to go, nowhere to hide. It was an accident, everything. A horrible, unfortunate, and unintentional accident.

Her parents were working, her brother was at school. They were alone, like usual.

"I know it doesn't seem like it, but I swear that I love you," she said when she could finally speak. Now there was no way that she was ever going to let her go. She had branded her life onto Sharpay's heart and soul.

She didn't care what anyone said; she didn't care if her mother threw her out of the house and told her to never come back. This was her baby, and she was never going to leave this little girl's side.

The crying began to fade. With her eyes focused on the life that was slippery across her bare flesh, she crawled on her knees across the floor into her bedroom to retrieve her phone, now her literal lifeline. She retrieved it nervously and dialed three numbers that would hopefully arrive in time to save them both.

"I'm so sorry," she choked with the heaviest heart. To the little girl, who didn't ask to be born.

…


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you my beautiful souls for your encouragement and reviews. Without you I wouldn't continue.**

…

The internal clock within awoke her. Before the lids of her eyes opened, she smiled. Celeste. Six years.

Six years old. As all mothers say it seems like only yesterday that she was born. Only yesterday that she rolled over for the first time, or crawled. The first step she ever took right on the floor of her bedroom, when she first wrote her name and the first time she said, "Mommy." She could recall every single one of those milestones as if they'd happened that very morning.

She smiled again and opened her eyes, letting the fresh haziness be replaced with bliss. How much she loved being a mom, through the good and the bad.

Teething, that was a rough time. And when she would get sick, which made the nights the longest and hardest. When her parents would be gone and she didn't know how to make the baby stop crying and she was all alone.

When she told her "No," for the first time, and watching the confused little girl process it.

But those were little things. Those could never compare to the best things.

There was never a moment where she pictured herself in a different life without Celeste. How could she? The moment she first laid eyes on her it was settled that nothing else would ever be more important. It was as if she'd been waiting for her practically her whole life.

Six years old, and she was the most beautiful little girl that Sharpay had ever saw. From her catching blue eyes that were so bright and full of life, to her sandy blonde hair, which seemed to be darker than it used to…the curls. The natural waves just like her mother's. Every old woman that passed them in the mall just stopped and awed over Sharpay's princess.

"Those blue, blue eyes…" they'd say, every single one of them. And Sharpay just beamed with pride and thanked them, when Celeste was too shy to speak, clinging silently to her mother's side.

Sharpay smiled to herself with her eyes still closed. Her bed felt so empty these days with Celeste now in her pink princess bed in the next room over. She yawned as she sat up.

As her eyes adjusted to the light, she dazedly found herself recanting the last six years. So many laughs, so many tears.

Not wasting another minute, she got out of bed and excitement began to build as she hurried to the kitchen. On her way she passed Celeste's door, she peeked inside.

"Happy birthday, my sweet, sweet angel…" she whispered to the sleeping princess, who would be starting kindergarten this year. The girl who could already write her name and read Green Eggs & Ham. The girl who loved pink and glitter, just like her mommy.

Pancakes, chocolate chip pancakes with extra chocolate chips and sprinkles. And whipped cream, lots of it! It was their dirty little secret, and it was an exceptional treat.

Celeste…six years old… The day they brought her home from the hospital, she was wearing a soft white blouse with sequins in a block pattern across the chest. It was so cute, and she couldn't forget the little black and white bow that accented the upper corner. Her heart almost stopped when she saw the pale turquoise leggings…and the smallest pair of white socks, which also had the bows.

Time was such a strange thing to her sometimes, because when she would watch Celeste sleep, she never saw her growing or getting older. It just seemed to happen when she wasn't looking, and she was always looking. She would try to watch her daughter age but she never could notice a difference in the day before.

"Stop getting bigger," she wanted to plead. Celeste was so perfect and beautiful, and so sweet…she never wanted her to change. She wanted for her to just stay little forever.

* * *

"911, where is your emergency?" It was a woman, her voice relatively calm and soft. Sharpay looked around dazedly, only adrenaline keeping her sucked into reality.

Her address, what was it? Her eyes squeezed tightly as she clawed at her memory trying to recover the familiar numbers.

"1410 East Eaglegate, it's a gated community. The security code is 72354," she announced suddenly, retrieving the location from nowhere.

She brought her knees closer to her chest, stroking the baby's stomach softly with her index finger. She made it back to the bathroom before the blood could soak into any more of her carpet. The woman asked her another question but Sharpay was having such a hard time concentrating.

"What?" she asked in shock. Even with the baby resting on her knees, there was still a blurry, dream-like quality in her vision.

"Are you okay?" Sharpay wiped a tear that was sliding down her cheek,

"I had a baby and I'm really afraid."

"What's your name?"

"Sharpay," she whispered.

"Sharpay, it's going to be okay, make sure you keep the baby warm. Are you at your house?" The lady's voice didn't reveal any despair or immediate concern. She was just gentle.

"Yes," Sharpay confirmed.

"Is anybody there with you?"

"No," she whispered as if her parents were going to overhear.

"Dispatchers are on their way, okay?" she said, her voice keeping that same soft, patient tone.

"Okay."

"Did you cut the umbilical cord?"

"Um," she thought for a moment looking down, "no."

"Okay, just stay right there. I don't want you to move, an ambulance is on its way. How long ago did you deliver?"

"Maybe a couple of minutes ago?"

There was a long pause and Sharpay was able to take a few deep breaths, in an attempt to regain a steady heartbeat. She heard the lady say a few more words but it was hard to concentrate.

"If you feel the need to push again it's the afterbirth, don't panic, that's normal. I'm going to stay on the phone with you until the paramedics get there, okay?"

"Okay, thank you," she exhaled.

A few quiet moments passed again. The baby that lay on her knees suddenly became heavier.

"Are you okay?" the lady asked with a touch of comfort.

"I'm fine now."

"Boy or girl?"

Sharpay's ragged eyes fell down, the instant glance of the daughter she gave birth to…

"A girl."

"She seems okay and everything? She's pink and she's cried?"

"Yes."

She just wanted to go to sleep. Even adrenaline and panic weren't enough to keep her alert. Everything was becoming very fuzzy to Sharpay, almost like she wasn't in her own body. This person sitting here in silence, she didn't recognize her.

There was a short silence and then the woman continued.

"Is there a lot of blood, or just a little bit?"

There was blood. Lots of it, so much blood…everywhere. All over the bathroom floor; it was seeping into the cracks of every crevice. The carpet in her bedroom, it would probably need to be stripped completely and replaced. She had never seen so much blood before in her life.

"There's a lot," she said nervously. Maybe that was why she was beginning to feel so lightheaded. She had to use every ounce of willpower to keep her eyes open.

"Sharpay?"

She took a deep breath and held the baby tighter, lowering her voice.

"I didn't tell anyone, I'm only seventeen," she confessed very embarrassed.

Her eyes turned to the identical ones that stared back into hers. She felt something that she'd never felt before looking into that tiny face, her lips quivered and her eyes closed letting streams of water fall from them tenderly, so distracted by such unfamiliar feelings she barely heard the front door being broke down. She barely heard the loud footsteps coming up the stairs, the voices getting closer.

"Hello, hello?" she heard a voice shout outside of the door.

"Here..." she feebly managed to call out, "in here..."

The door flung opened but she almost didn't even notice what was happening, the man bending down, shining a light in her eyes, talking to her…she was so unresponsive; blank.

All she saw were confusing colors.

"Everything is going to be okay," the man said as he and another man lifted her up onto a stretcher. They threw a warm blanket over her naked body. She could hear him talking on her phone with the lady, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. Someone turned the volume down. Her eardrums…

Her hazy eyes scanned her surroundings, they were carrying her down the steps, and…her chest, it was empty. There was no baby asleep on her. There was no nose snuggled into the valley of her breasts. Her eyes searched frantically for the baby. _The baby._ She tried to talk but her mouth wouldn't move, only the smallest sound would be able to choke its way out of her throat. Her eyes were hurting too much to hold them open a second longer. She gave up.

"No, love her…safe place…" she whispered as the light of her world began to die, the darkness enveloping her before a drop of rain outside could reach her worn face.

…

Her eyelids slowly opened to a dark room; the lights were turned off, but she knew exactly where she was, and the curtains were drawn, but sunlight seemed to make its way through the cracks. She started to sit up, her body so stiff and when she sat up straight she felt the pull in her groins, cringing at the soreness. Sitting up in her bed, with a backless gown, she was anyone but who she desired to be. Everything about what she was feeling right now didn't seem real. It just couldn't be.

She was mortified to be in that room with a plastic bracelet on her wrist, no makeup, no hairbrush, and the terrible smell of hospital stained into her hair. The absolute worst thing however, was the unclean, sticky sweat left on her body. Her desire for a shower was intense.

Looking at the wall, listening to the voices outside of her door she didn't know what to do. She wondered if she should call for somebody, if she should try to go back to sleep, if she should just wait for someone to come to her. She lied back down, trying to ignore the one thing that she couldn't ignore. And when Sharpay thought about what had happened, tears grew in her eyes until they became heavy enough to fall on their own, and there was no stopping them.

The tears ran down the side of her face and rolled onto the sheets silently. The knot in her throat began to go away as she finally let herself go.

It hurt so much. The fear, and the humiliation. It was so painful.

"Hi Sharpay," a woman appeared from behind the curtain in scrubs.

She covered her face with her hands and took a moment to collect herself.

"Do you want to sit up? Need another pillow?"

Sharpay shook her head, "I-just," she choked. She couldn't even put her thoughts into words, there was just a horrible need to cry right now.

The nurse nodded her head, "You had a long night."

Her hands fumbled with each other, "Is it…can I see the baby?"

The nurse's eyes widened and her smile extended, "Of course you can see her, I'll be right back," she said as she left the room. When the door shut Sharpay felt the tension in her body slowly start to ease. Her nerves grew into anticipation. Waiting for the lady to return, to come back with something she wanted more than anything in the world.

Minutes passed and she was becoming more anxious by the second, she was just about to get out of the bed when her door opened slowly. A little plastic basket was pushed across the room to Sharpay's bed.

The nurse picked up the sleeping baby, and Sharpay held out her arms as the nurse placed her inside. Sharpay looked into the face of her child. She was the most beautiful, the most perfect thing she'd ever seen. She felt herself start to lose control again.

She was in love. It was a moment later that the nurse broke her blissful trance.

"We called your parents."

Sharpay looked up, "What?"

"They're flying home right now to be with you. They told us to tell you that they're on their way."

New York, they had that investment meeting in New York City.

"Oh no…" she shook in terror. How could she face them after this? Her mother. How could she face her mother after this?

She hesitated but nodded slowly.

The nurse didn't respond as Sharpay closed her eyes and took deep breaths. There was no way she could get up and run away with the baby, although the thought was very much alive in her mind.

"You know, you're not in trouble."

 _Of course I am._ She was in all kinds of trouble. She dreaded the thought of her parents coming and seeing her like this. How was she going to convince them that she herself, a child, was ready to be a mother and raise a child of her own? There was a reason, many reasons, why she kept her growing stomach covered discreetly as possible. It was still a mystery how no one managed to notice or even speculate.

An hour passed and Sharpay found herself inseparable from the child. She had memorized the way the little child's lips would open to the side when she yawned, how her eyes fluttered when she heard her mother's voice. She sang to her, she made her promises. And now she could never put her down, the nurse practically had to coax her from her mother once Sharpay could hardly stay awake, she was so tired.

"Just one more minute," she asked drowsily as the nurse pulled her out of Sharpay's arms, she laid the baby down in the basket, right next to Sharpay's bed. "See?" she smiled, "she's not going anywhere, but you've got to sleep. You just had a baby."

Sharpay turned to her side, facing the sleeping infant in the clear plastic basket adjacent to the bed. She began to study the child's features again but she didn't make it past the eyes, in a second she was out.

…

30,000 feet above the plains of New Mexico, a silent couple sat on the edge of their seats. The gentlemen tried to reach for his wife's hand only to for her to yank it away. Tears streamed down her face as she saw the last year flash before her eyes. Their birthday party, Sharpay refusing to wear the beautiful gown she bought her.

She wouldn't go swimming at the pool, she wouldn't go to Lava Springs at all. She wore the same clothes over and over and never expressed interest in the theatre.

It was so obvious something awful was wrong and she was too selfish to even ask what.

Darby thought that she had finally hit her teenage angst, she never thought it was this.

Although exhausted mentally and physically from the long flight, they made it to the hospital. They made it through the doors and demanded to see Sharpay.

They found the two of them asleep. The bassinette right next to the elevated bed, side by side.

"She's just a kid," Darby whispered after several blank moments. The impact of seeing her grandchild was not as emotional as she imagined. She was almost disconnected from the shock.

"How could I have missed this? What kind of mother am I?"

Vance pulled her next to him and he squeezed her shoulder.

"It's going to be okay."

"What about school?"

"She'll finish high school, and college. It's not impossible."

"I sure hope you're right," Darby said looking devastated at the pair of young lives before her. They would both have to sacrifice for each other in their own ways. Sharpay who never knew sacrifice, she would have to give almost everything up.

…

By the late afternoon Sharpay was still asleep. Darby sat in the cushioned chair next to the bed, watching her daughter sleep like she used to do when she was a baby. When she was a little girl. Even up until the last few years, she would always check on both of them and make sure they were covered and sound asleep. She tried to be a good mother. Apparently it wasn't good enough.

She could only imagine how much Sharpay's body had been put through, how scared she must've been. She was all alone that whole night. Her heart broke at the thought of her daughter in pain like that. She'd never seen Sharpay with such baggy eyes or her hair matted against her forehead from dried sweat.

She cursed herself. How did she let Sharpay get that far away? How could she as a mother, not pay that enough attention to her own child? How in the world did she not see her daughter go through nine months of pregnancy? How could she call herself a mother and not know what was happening to her child?

"How?" she whispered to herself.

…

Sharpay was in a shadowy room, she had no feeling in her body but she could sense it was cold. Suddenly the room lit up, white walls surrounded her as she lay on the floor, and her knees pulled into her chest.

She started to sit up but her hand flew out from under her, the floor was wet. Her hand slipped. She raised her hand to her face to see what was so wet. Her hand was red. And the feeling was thick. And it smelled like blood. Blood. And it was coming from in between her legs.

Slowly opening her legs apart she saw a dirty, wet, bloody rope coming from inside of her body.

The rope was bleeding, and the baby was gone. Not inside of her, and not with her. Not in that room. Her mouth opened to scream, but she couldn't. As if someone had snipped her vocal chords, that was what she felt. She started to squirm on the ground trying to get out of the awful thoughts that passed through her. That's when she felt something touching her forehead, but she didn't see anything. A muffled voice entered the nightmare, but no one was there. It scared her and she screamed even though she thought she couldn't. But she did. And that's what woke her up.

She shot up in bed struggling to catch her breath, tears falling rapidly from her eyes, crying louder than in her dream. She felt her mother holding her, rubbing her back, rocking her back and forth.

"Shh..." she heard her mother lulling softly.

Sharpay's eyes feverishly searched around the room, the basket was gone, her baby was gone, she pushed her mother away, breaking their embrace, beginning to uncover herself, inching her way out of the bed.

"Where's the baby?" she said in a panic.

"She's okay, she's okay…" her mother said.

"Where is the baby?"

"The nurse took her back about half an ago. It's okay." Sharpay's struggle began to ease.

"Let me go…" but Darby held her back and laid her back down, she stroked her cheek, "Sharpay it's going to be okay," she said smoothing tears from her worn face, "it's going to be okay."

Sharpay shook her head, "Mom, I'm so sorry…" she sobbed.

"I know, it's okay," the woman hushed continuing to calm her down.

"I'm more sorry than anything," Darby said to Sharpay's surprise, "I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that alone. I'm sorry that I made you feel like you couldn't come to me."

In her mother's defense, she wanted to tell her every time they said good night. The strain of her hidden secret was so heavy, and it only got worse with each passing second. She felt like a bug in a spider web. Hearing her mother's pleas now made her feel even more guilty, which was the point all along. She didn't want to devastate the woman, she didn't want to change the life that her parents made for their children. Her mom…she loved her, she didn't want to disappoint her anymore than she had disappointed herself.

Sharpay rose up from her bed and threw her arms around her mother. They held each other and cried together. It was long overdue. Sharpay held on to her mother's shoulders and when the tears continued to fall she didn't wipe them away, she wouldn't let go.

There was a throbbing in her throat, would they even let her keep it?

"You're not going to make me give it away are you?" she sobbed sadly.

Darby squeezed her tighter, "I would never ask you to do that."

Sharpay's lips quivered, words could not begin to describe her unbelief, and her joy…she could feel the tightness leaving her body.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," she said again. Her parents always made it seem so easy, she'd only been a mother for a day and she was already messing everything up.

"I'm so, so, so, so sorry."

She would be saying this for the rest of her life. For the rest of her life she would be apologizing to her daughter. To everyone that got pulled into this. No one asked for any of it, she did this to them all. And unfortunately, she had a lot of coming clean to do. To more than just her family, to the other family whose lives were being affected without them even knowing it. Something awful told her that they wouldn't be as understanding. Something told her that she could never prepare for the storm that was coming. And all she could do was apologize until her words meant nothing anymore.

Her whole entire life since they were little kids, she only wanted one thing. Him. From his electrifying blue eyes to his gorgeous brown side swept bangs, straight and smooth. From year to year she watched the muscles in his arms expand, and the gap in his two front teeth grow together.

The stinging memory of his hands all over her taut body. The moment when she questioned the reality of the situation. Was he finally hers? Could she finally go home with him after all of these years?

He was her dream, all her life, the one thing she couldn't have. Money meant nothing to him, her beautiful blonde hair and designer clothes meant nothing. He didn't want her. He never wanted her. He wanted love. He wanted basketball. And the last thing he wanted to give her was a chance.

The one summer night that changed their lives, it was the most caustic thing she had ever experienced. Two emotional teenagers, complete privacy, and a whole lot of alcohol. And when it was all over, she knew that everything she had ever wanted and dreamed of with him, was wasted.

* * *

She slid a single flower into a vase on the table. The pancakes were stacked neatly on a plate and the table for the two of them was set.

"It's my birthday, today." The voice of a very happy, yet very sleepy six year-old made Sharpay's head turn at the perfect timing.

"Happy birthday, Angel," Sharpay said gently walking towards the little one that called her "Mommy."

"Did you sleep good?" she asked picking her up and kissing her over and over.

"No," she sighed, "I want to sleep with you tonight."

"Oh yeah?" Sharpay smiled as she put the girl in a chair at the table right next to hers.

"Do I get to see my Nana and Papa today?" she asked lunging quickly for the pancakes. Sharpay swatted her hands away and picked up two smaller pancakes herself, laying them gently on the six year-old's plate.

"Nana and Papa are going to come over tonight and we're going to all go out to Cheddar's." She grabbed the can of whipped cream and made a huge swirl of it for Celeste. "And Uncle Ryan's coming!" she finished.

"Uncle Ryan! I haven't seen him since I was two!"

"You've seen him since you were two, how could you remember when you were two, crazy girl?"

"We have a picture of all of us at my birthday party and I look at it all the time."

"Well you've seen him since then just not as much because he lives in New York."

Celeste was in the process of devouring the delicious treat that she showed no attention to the conversation her mother and herself were previously exchanging. Sharpay smiled at the whipped cream smeared on her face, so sticky.

"And," she said pausing to swallow her last bite, "I want to see my daddy today."

...

 **Thank you for reading and please review :D I send my love to all of you xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**I owe you guys everything for being so patient. I swear I will not stop until this is done. I hope that my original readers like the changes I've made and I hope my new readers like it as well. You guys rock my world. This one's for you.**

…

"Of course you can see your daddy today," Sharpay said softly. Celeste smiled, she hadn't seen her daddy in quite a while. She missed him, along with her grandparents. She missed the way their house smelled, like the candles that they sold in the mall. And she missed the basketball goal.

"And my grandma and grandpa?"

"Oh you know they will be there too," she followed, and then there was a vibration on the table, the iPhone blinked and buzzed

"When can I open up my presents?" Celeste said quickly and with enthusiasm. Her mommy held up a finger and slipped away into the other room. She would do this sometimes when it wasn't "appropriate," as she would say, for Celeste to hear a conversation.

The little girl sat up straight as her mother always told her to do, and as excited as she was to have fun today, she drank her orange juice quietly.

"It's my birthday, it's my birthday," she said setting her glass down carefully like a big girl. There was nothing left on her plate except a pool of syrup. She excused herself from the table and stepped on her tip-toes to put her plate in the sink.

"And I get to see my daddy…" she said quietly, "and my grandma and grandpa. And they're going to get me presents and I'm going to like them."

She jumped up and down with excitement and squealed to herself. She just wanted to see her daddy. She loved her mommy. She loved her mommy's sweet voice, and the way her mommy would bend down to pick her up and put her to bed when she was too tired to walk. She loved their house that was so big for just the two of them.

But she missed her daddy, all the time. And she was so happy that she would get to see him today.

Celeste didn't need music to dance, and being happy made her want to dance. She strutted around the island of their kitchen with one hand on her hip and the other stuck out in the air.

"I want fabulous, that is my simple request, all things fabulous bigger and better and best," she sang the way her mommy did. She did a spin and put her other hand in the air, while half-way skipping around the kitchen and down the hall.

"I need something inspiring to help me get along, I need a little fabulous is that so wrong?"

* * *

He was standing on the green lawn, watching the fountain in its endless cycle. Wondering if Gabriella had really just left. One light was on across the yard. It was just him and the night, nobody around to watch him slowly crumble. No one to watch him hurt worse than he ever had. The things she said, the hurtful things, they were true. That's why they hurt.

He wasn't used to feeling this way. Ashamed? Embarrassed?

His attention was quickly interrupted when he heard loud footsteps hitting the concrete sidewalk. He looked around until he saw her, the Ice Princess, walking like she was on fire with hell blazing around her.

His eyes followed her swift steps and he thought what could she possibly know about having a real problem? Just as he was about to call out her attention, he watched her heels give out and she tumbled violently down on the sidewalk.

"Hey," he called out as he started running towards her. As he approached her he held out his hand to help her up. She lay crooked on her knees with her face hiding behind her arm.

"Leave me alone!" she shouted through tears. His immediate concern got stronger when he heard the horrible pain in her voice.

"Sharpay, you're hurt," he said gently. She threw her head up and he saw her tear stained face. She was crying before she fell.

"It's okay," he said bending down to sit next to her. It didn't matter who she was or if they were friends. He held her in his arms and hushed her until she was able to stop crying.

"You'd better go before Gabriella catches you," she hissed.

"Well she's not really talking to me much these days so I'd say it's okay."

Sharpay scoffed, "Little Miss Perfect."

Troy looked around and wondered what time it was. He should be getting home soon, the club was closed. No one was there but the two of them and probably the night guard, if they had a night guard that is. Only one thing was for sure, he didn't want to stay much longer there, with an emotional Sharpay.

"Do you want to have a drink?" Sharpay asked Troy, catching him off guard.

"They don't care," she said standing up. "Come on, I'm not going home like this."

Before he could even react he was following her towards the main building.

"Are we-" he started to ask as he got closer but she was already at the door, disarming the alarm.

The inside of the familiar building was spooky at night, especially when most of the lights were off. It didn't feel the same, every part of him was wanting to go.

The ballroom was so quiet…Sharpay got behind the bar and started grabbing glasses.

"Oh…I don't," Troy mumbled.

"Relax," she said as she began to get out the mixes from the coolers. To his surprise, she didn't look lost. She actually looked like she knew what she was doing.

"You've done this before?" he asked quietly with a stutter. Why was he so nervous? Oh, maybe because his ass was on the line. First of all, he wasn't supposed to be here, second of all this was his boss's daughter.

"I've been to enough galas, charmed enough bartenders. Let's start out with something simple."

She poured the white bottle into a clear glass, only filling it about an eighth of the way for him. She herself, poured about half a glass. Then she quickly spilled cold orange pineapple juice into the rest.

She poured his glass into another glass, back and forth mixing it up.

"Here you go," she said slamming it down in front of him, smiling when he flinched.

She didn't mix her drink, she just gulped it as he watched in awe.

"What is this?" he asked.

"Coconut rum. It's good. Now for banana shots," she said finding a tiny glass and pulling another bottle out from behind her.

Troy warily looked at his glass, he'd never taken a sip of alcohol before.

"There's hardly anything in that," she said holding her shot up in the air.

"Hurry up. I want you to try a banana shot. It tastes like popsicles."

He looked at the glass again, then he closed his eyes. His hand drew the glass up to his lips and he sipped it. The taste. The bitter taste hidden behind the fruity filler.

She laughed at him, maybe because of the way he puckered his lips and cheeks.

"I can't do this," he said putting the glass down. Sharpay downed the shot and grimaced slightly when she swallowed.

"It gets easier. Get drunk, come on."

There was so much…no…there was something missing in her voice. Fear. She wasn't afraid. She didn't care what people thought about her. Even she knew that she was crazy, but at least she belonged to herself.

In a twisted point of view, perhaps he could learn from her.

"I'll try the shot," he said reaching out for a tiny glass.

As prompting and pushy as she was, she cocked her head when he poured himself a shot.

"You might want to finish that first," she said gesturing the rum. "This is a lot stronger. It'll fuck you up fast."

Troy downed it. He almost choked as it sucked the air out of his lungs. Never had he ever tasted something so strong.

"Here," she said handing him a glass of water. He downed it too but he wanted more.

"Let's go back to the coconut rum," she smiled and he nodded. She poured them each another glass, which they both quickly consumed.

After several drinks and a few shots, Troy started to wonder what being drunk felt like, if it would slowly take him or if it would hit all at once. And then it hit him. He could feel the heaviness. There was a lucid piece inside where he knew what was happening, he could hear himself talking inside his mind. But the rest of his body…there wasn't much he could control.

His head would rise up and he heard Sharpay tell him to keep drinking the water, or he would get sick.

…

" _I'm so sorry about Gabriella, Troy. She's just a girl though,"_ he thought he heard say.

The boy, so lost in his own head. Maybe she shouldn't have introduced him to the banana shots. Gabriella would be so pissed.

"Sharpay," he said when she laid him down on the ground of the room. He was almost passed out.

" _I'm going to call Ryan, he'll come get us."_

Again her voice was dampened by the power of his intoxication, but from down on the ground, he had a horrible need to pull her down next to him and kiss her. So he did.

His lips pushed up against hers and she pulled away.

He thought he heard, _"Troy, no, no, no…"_ or something like that.

Damn Sharpay was so hot. She was hot just leaning over him. He couldn't read the expression on her face, he could only see her wobbly silhouette. Even in his state he could feel his flesh reacting to the beautiful woman above him. She was more beautiful than Gabriella ever was.

"Thank you for making me feel better, Sharpay," he mumbled. Hopefully she heard him.

"Thank you, Sharpay. Gabriella-she's doesn't-I love you so much right now. I love you, Sharpay."

And then he with his eyes closed he felt something soft and wet hit his lips, hers. He felt her tongue go into his mouth. They played with each other for what seemed to be all night long. His growing sensations sprouting limbs of their own and he groaned loudly when the teasing became too much for him to continue.

Troy forced himself to swap places with her, he pinned her down on the ballroom floor. Kissing her bare chest, her pink shawl that covered her swimsuit… it somehow got misplaced.

"Hurry!" he commanded as she fumbled miserably with his pants.

"I've always loved you, Troy," she whispered as she ripped off her swimsuit. Her glistening hot cheeks, he knew the throbbing in between her legs was intense as she sat on him. She whimpered lightly and that made him grow even more. He gasped as she mounted herself over his erection, and she whimpered again when her body absorbed him. They groaned and flopped around so clumsily, their heavy bodies fell with almost every thrust. All responsibility had been thrown out the window and that lead to the most ironic ending to any evening either one had ever experienced.

…

Pieces. There were only pieces in the early morning. He remembered the banana shots and the Malibu. He remembered her pulling him inside the building to drink.

Nausea, he remembered getting sick in the middle of the night. And she was there, wiping his face with a cold towel. Ugh, the sickness was still burning his throat.

Never again.

It was 5 AM, there were sitting in his truck.

"I can drive you home," she said with a smile, "Ryan can come get me from your house."

Troy looked at her confused, how did they get here? Pieces…she helped him… she kept pouring him drink after drink….

"You should probably just go," he said feeling around for his car keys which were still in his pocket, thankfully. He ignored the uncomfortable silence that was dawning itself into the early morning air.

"Troy," she started but he didn't even look at her. Gabriella, it was over. Sharpay, he touched her? No…this was turning into a living nightmare. There's no way he would've let that happen, but it happened. The hickies on Sharpay's neck and chest proved it. And her tangled hair. And he could almost smell her perfume on his skin. Oh God, he was going to throw up again.

"Look, Sharpay, I don't know what happened last night and I don't want to know. I quit."

Her mouth dropped open, like she didn't understand. Slowly, she began to get out of the car with a stunned expression still clearly written on her face.

"We made love…" she whispered with the cruelest sadness in her eyes. He felt really bad for her. But he couldn't pretend to be interested and make her think that…whatever this was…that it actually meant anything. The whole thing was the worst mistake he'd ever made. Besides letting Gabriella walk away.

"Stay away from me."

…

The boy. He was gone. He was never there. The boy that was hers for a moment. The happiest moment of her life.

Now he was angry and she was to blame. But he's the one who lied. When she said "I love you," she meant it.

Was she allowed to miss him? Are you allowed miss something you never had, but she felt like he was hers, even if only for a second. He said that he loved her, you can't just say that you love someone and then change your mind the next morning. You just can't do that. Especially when all they ever did was care about you.

This whole thing was so messed up. Every bit of it.

It was over, move on, she would tell herself. Over. Let him go.

It hurt her so much when they would pass each other in the halls. When she had to see him in the classes they shared. Day after day, week after week he just ignored her. If she could only talk to him and explain because she remembered everything that happened that night. She knew that she did nothing wrong except for let him take her virginity.

They were strangers, after one night of being naked inside and out, they were done. She grieved over what happened, she dwelled over what happened. It wasn't just a one night stand, it was a mistake that she would never get back. He was the first and he took it all.

And then it never came. It wasn't late, it was gone. It just stopped and she never even had to take a test to know. And she didn't have any idea of what to do, except hope that some kind of miracle would happen. What that miracle was, she didn't know either. Love was too strong of a word to describe how she felt. All she wanted to do was protect it. She was just too young, too selfish. It wasn't something she was proud of but it was the truth.

* * *

It only took a moment for the car to be parked that Celeste unbuckled herself out of her seat. She threw open the door and darted toward the big house.

"Wait for me!" Sharpay yelled at the hyper child, she giggled at the excitement she heard in Celeste's voice,

"No you hurry up, Mommy!"

Sharpay tried to catch up to her before the door opened, but it did just as she took the first step on to the porch.

"Happy birthday!" the woman at the door exclaimed. Lucille, Troy's mother, reached her arms out and Celeste quickly ran into them.

Her grandpa appeared behind the woman as Sharpay finally stood on the doorstep.

"Hey Sharpay, how are you doing?"

"Just trying to keep up with her," she laughed. Jack nodded his head, the sadness in his eyes was masked but still visible.

"What team?" Celeste screamed loudly when her grandpa reached for her.

"Wildcats!" he exclaimed with just as much enthusiasm.

"My little wildcat," Lucille smiled stroking her granddaughter's cheek.

"I want to see my daddy," Celeste said boldly. The two adults in front of her smiled, "He's been waiting for you, too." Lucille was such an amazing grandmother. She always knew how to talk to Celeste and she was there for both of them. Every now and then she would ask Sharpay to let Celeste spend the night. It took a little while for Sharpay to agree but eventually she did. Celeste loved her daddy's family just as much as her mommy's family.

The four of them walked single file down the hallway, Celeste in the front and Sharpay in the back. On her way to Troy's room she looked at the pictures on the walls. Family pictures, school pictures, some going to back when Troy still had that sorry gap. Thank God Celeste didn't inherit it.

Some pictures she could see Celeste in him. Those eyes…they would never erase themselves from her mind. Not when she saw them every single day when she woke up her child.

They stopped in front of the door and Jack picked up Celeste. Lucille pushed the door open.

And then she saw him, the father of her child. The boy she loved all her life.

He lied on the bed with pictures of Celeste on his walls. If he could only see her now, and how beautiful she was.

Sharpay always felt teary when she would drop Celeste off at the Bolton house, but it was a completely different experience when she would come in and see Troy. She tried to avoid it as often as possible, but holidays and birthdays…she never had a choice.

The machines were enough to disturb a little girl but Celeste had known it her whole life. She never knew it to be scary. She was fearless, she knew her Daddy loved her even though she couldn't remember his voice.

"Daddy, it's my birthday," she said to him. He didn't move, he didn't reply as usual.

"His eyes are always closed," she said sadly.

"You know he would wish you a happy birthday if he was awake, baby," Lucille said.

"I know," she said.

Still in Jack's arms, he inched closer to the bed and with Celeste's permission he set her down over the railing.

Celeste touched her dad's hand.

"I wish you would wake up, Daddy."

Every adult in the room used all of their willpower and strength to control their tears. Lucille wrapped her arms around Sharpay while Jack looked on.

Sometimes she wondered what good was his body without his voice, or his ability to tell his daughter he loved her? She had to believe that it was just a season, and that soon he would open his eyes. But it had been years, 4 years since she heard his voice. Since he smiled. Since they sat together under the stars at Lava Springs. The three of them, a family.

So many nights she wondered how much different things would be if that night never happened.

Would they be married?

Would Celeste still be an only child?

All of the what-ifs that humored her restless mind…more than likely, at this point, she'd never know.

…

 **XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I want to shout out to some new readers, thank you for your reviews. I really appreciate every single one them. _Is This Happiness_ , I tried to get this up as soon as possible! And to my old readers, I'll call you my 'loyals,' you guys are creating this story. I'm finishing this for you. If it weren't for everyone who's ever reviewed or favorited or followed, I would've deleted this from my own computer years ago. I don't even watch HSM anymore. This is for you all. XOXO. I do apologize if this gets confusing, I like to think of it as a puzzle! Happy reading my lovelies. **

...

They painted the room next to Sharpay's a soft peaceful lavender. Beautiful white furniture; vintage nursery. Peaceful, Sharpay heavily emphasized on that one in the hospital. No animal themes, no bright colors when she thought it through. She wanted the room to be calm. The kid's life was going to be hysterical enough with her as a mother.

"I don't even know what to say to him," Sharpay said bothered as she meaninglessly looked out the window. Her mother stood right next to her, lightly rubbing her back with her nails. They both could feel the storm coming.

"You just have to tell him the truth."

"But what does that even mean? Do I start from the beginning? Remind him of the night…" she shook her head gently and scoffed, "do I just give her to him? Make him love her. How can I make him love her?"

"You won't have to," the older mother said with sincerity, "how could he not love that little face?"

Sharpay allowed herself to grin. How? She was wrong about him in so many ways, but if he went as far to deny an angel like Celeste…he would be the one missing out. Not them.

…

"What's going on?" Troy said the next day when Sharpay appeared on his doorstep. She looked different, he couldn't pinpoint what…it could've been her hair. It didn't look brushed. And there was something tiny wrapped inside her arms, he couldn't see it completely but his first thought was that it was a baby. But that was just stupid.

"I have to tell you something, Troy," Sharpay started. His thoughts stopped for a moment, and his eyes moved from that bundle in her arms to her eyes. Her eyes…he definitely didn't recognize them. They lost all confidence that they used to acquire.

"You're a father, Troy," she said tiredly. Her hands adjusted the blanket and the face of a little baby peeked out from under the covering. It yawned. The eyelids began to move. Troy took a step back, he didn't understand.

"I…that…" was all that came out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry," Sharpay said quickly reaching forward with one arm. To his own surprise he didn't pull away, he let her come closer with the bundle, the…child.

She started to usher it to him but he stopped her, "Hold on a second, I need a second." Troy put his hands on his head. Many deep breaths.

"Of course," she nodded her head. She looked down and stroked the baby's cheek with her own.

"Her name's Celeste, look at her eyes." Troy put a stop to his overwhelming emotions to do just that. He looked down just as Sharpay did and saw her eyes. Oh they were so familiar. So, so familiar.

"They look like mine," he noticed.

She broke down into sobs, "They are yours. They're exactly like yours." And she began to crumple right before him. He took a step closer to both of them and stopped thinking.

"Shhhhhhh…" he said to Sharpay pulling her into him. He touched the baby's head with the top of his index finger, of course he knew it was his. Troy never stopped thinking about that night. It bothered him constantly and he couldn't force himself to forget it although he tried, countless times. He could never get the taste of her lips, or the feeling of her body out of his mind. And the words that he said to her in the morning, it made him want to crawl into a hole in the ground and bury himself. He'd never been so ashamed of the way he treated her. He could barely look every time he saw her face. And he had more respect for her than he had for himself right now. He wanted to make it up to both of them, he absolutely wanted it.

"You're not mad? You don't hate me?" he heard her mumble through tears. His arm hung over her shoulder and he gripped it tight.

"I could never hate you, Sharpay. And I was wrong for everything I said. You never did anything wrong."

"Yes I did, I could've hurt her."

"She looks fine to me, in fact she looks perfect."

"She is perfect. She's fabulous," she told him quietly and he could hear how much love she had in her voice. And there was relief in her voice, he knew how afraid she must've been to…

"You weren't pregnant, though. I mean, I didn't know…"

"I was. But I kept it a secret, I didn't know how to talk about it. So I just didn't."

"How in the world did you hide something like that?"

"I don't' know," she almost laughed. "I knew how to make myself look smaller than I actually was and I quit hanging out in the spotlight. But mostly I just hid. And nobody ever noticed."

"I care," he let her know with a solid tone. He failed miserably at showing it but had he have known, he would've been there. Completely.

…

They sat on the front porch of his house a month later. She still wouldn't talk about it. She wouldn't open up to anyone about it. It was shame, he assumed.

"I didn't want to hurt it," she had said multiple times over the last four weeks. "I never dreamed I would keep it. I just wanted to get it someplace safe, where no one could hurt it."

"You did a good job, you protected her."

"It was our baby," she smiled. And then she would stop. She never allowed herself to say anything more.

Troy wanted to help her. The doctor said she was experiencing what they called a mild form of postpartum depression. It wasn't serious, she had bonded with the baby and nursed the baby. But she cried all the time. The doctor said that if she could talk about everything that happened and let so much of the pain out, it would probably go away.

So Troy tried every day.

"When did you know that you were pregnant?" he asked softly taking her hand. They sat side by side, the baby inside with his mom and dad. God they loved her.

"Sharpay if we talk about what's been bothering you, you'll feel so much better. You'll be able to be a better mother and you won't have so much on your chest."

She threw his hand away, "Troy I'm here. I'm not crazy."

"I know you're not, but you don't know what you're doing to yourself. Remember the day you brought Celeste to me? That night I told you that I would never turn my back on you again, ever. Remember?"

Sharpay sighed heavily and covered her face with her hands like she did a lot these days. Her entire world had changed. Troy never blamed her. He didn't blame her for not telling her parents. Her mom was scary. He sure didn't blame her for not telling him, after being pure evil the morning after their encounter.

Troy found his arm wrapping around her soft body and he held her tight.

"You were so strong. And so brave. Other girls would've run from this. But you didn't. You kept her safe and warm, and you did it on your own with nobody to help you. You have no idea how strong you are."

"I'm not," she said turning away but he pulled her back to him gently.

"Yes you are. And you're trying to be strong now but you don't have to be. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere, I want to help you forgive yourself and let yourself enjoy this baby."

There was a pause. Sharpay gave a weak smile, a little sniffle. She was holding back long overdue tears, not the kind from being sad, the kind from being exhausted. Being so exhausted everything felt numb. Troy nodded his head, giving her the okay to cry. Cry until she wore herself out. And she did.

Sharpay closed her eyes. The sobs beginning. She unlocked her memory and let the pain flood everywhere. There was so much pain that came from this. It was her kid. Her own flesh and blood. She knew nothing about being a mom, nothing about being an adult. She had done so much damage and the baby was only a month old. The doctor called it postpartum depression and expressed concern for her and the baby. Thoughts of harming the baby were normal. Harm the baby? Why would she harm the baby? She loved it. She would die a million deaths for it. Harm? How? Why?

No, she tried not to judge him. He was just doing his job, he was trying to make sure that Celeste was taken care of. She appreciated that. She smiled at this through the tears.

"When I felt her move inside of me…" she grabbed her stomach, "…I tried so hard to pretend that I didn't feel anything." She let go of his hand, not even realizing that they were clasped. Sharpay combed her bangs out of her face. "I honestly thought that the day wouldn't come. I was hoping I'd wake up and see that it was just a dream. But it wasn't. The day, it did…" he noticed her face was turning pale. "It came…" she remembered.

Monday afternoon, she came home from school. Terrible, terrible back ache. Horrible. Cramps. Not the kind that occur a few times during a period. These were intense cramps. Period cramps times a thousand. The worst cramps she could imagine. Ryan said he may not come home since the folks were out of town on business. Please don't come home, please don't come home, she worried.

It was starting.

The sun began to set and the moon came out. She had stayed in her room all evening. Lying down, and then sitting up in bed, she tried putting pillows in between her legs, around her waist. She tried lying on a pillow but nothing took the edge off of the pain.

Then later into the night she felt something leaking between her legs. It was a disgusting feeling. Her sheets were wet. That was when everything got intense.

Her mom, she wanted to get her mom…

Slowly and with much difficulty she got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, ripping off her clothes she drew herself a bath. The water was soothing at first, even though it was well after midnight the thought of sleeping was a delusion. She thought the pain before was bad, but it just got worse. She would bite her lips and grit her teeth, trying not to yell but it was so hard not to. The pain was twisting and ripping her insides apart. She laid against the back of the tub for many, many hours. Each contraction got worse and worse and ultimately she couldn't hold in her screams.

Sharpay splashed around in every direction to try and ease the pain but it was too searing and extreme. She screamed with each brutal wave that seized her defenseless body. She couldn't fight it, she couldn't run away, she couldn't do anything but lay there and cry.

Eventually the water had no effect on her, she rose out of it and put her hand on her stomach, it was very tight. She leaned against the wall of the shower. She had almost no more tears to cry but she continued into the early hours of the morning. It was never going to end.

Exhausted and shaken she left her bathroom and put on a clean shirt, she crawled back into her bed, laid there and surrendered to the pain. She laid there for a long time, closing her eyes and crying out with no one to hear her screams. The rain was pouring outside, no one would hear her anyway. How much more of this could she take? Her eyes rose to the alarm beside her bed, it read 6:46. Her parents weren't even in Albuquerque, Ryan obviously never came home…only she was there.

"Mom!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, just in case. The house remained quiet. She heard nothing except for her own hastened breathing, "Ryan!" she shouted even louder. She let several moments pass without hearing the slightest creak. Yes, she was alone.

Suddenly there was an incredible pressure down below. It scared her and she tried to get out of bed but she couldn't stand up, she let her body fall onto the floor, on her knees trembling but she slowly managed to make her way to the bathroom. This was going to be messy. She already knew it.

She leaned against the door, grabbing a towel next to the tub but before she could put it underneath a fire erupted between her legs causing her to scream-groan-hiss-gasp, it all sounded like the soundtrack to a slasher film. She spread her knees apart, freaking at the thought of what was coming out. Little by little her eyes gradually looked down, trying to see what was emerging from her body. Around the edge of her round stomach she thought she saw something round, something with cream colored slime encrusted on it. It was already on its way out.

"Oh my god…" she said spreading her legs farther apart. It wanted to come but she felt her body holding it in, Sharpay took a deep breath and pushed. Sweltering pain engulfed her insides, she cried out for mercy.

Sharpay covered her face with her fists curled up, she shrieked at the thought of dying like this. She couldn't bear to die like this; this couldn't be it for her! She tried to catch her breath in between the tears but this was overwhelming, and then right when she was praying to die a contraction like no other gutted through her. And it loosed the shoulders free. She guided it out of her body after one final push. True ecstasy. The fucking release.

How long had it been? All day, all night, it was now early morning. Her lips were chapped and her throat was burnt up from the hidden lion groans her towel masked.

Her eyes were squeezed shut, so afraid to see if it was a boy or a girl. She had no desire to know, that was the one thing that she could do to help herself. By thinking calling it a thing, an "it." She wasn't required to love it.

She didn't have to care.

But that was how she felt then, now she couldn't resist the urge to look just as she couldn't resist the urge to push. Some things are just involuntary and you have no control over them.

A girl. She looked down and saw the still body of her baby daughter. And damn she was beautiful.

The newborn love she had for this child was instant. Instinctive, unintentional, spontaneous. It was an accident. She never wanted to care so much but she just couldn't help it. Nothing felt more natural than the insistence to pick it up and hold it against her hot, slick skin.

It wasn't fair. She didn't understand how she was supposed to just wrap it up and take it to a safe place and leave her there. How could she even get the strength to go through with it? There were so many things she never thought through.

Sharpay didn't think that it was going to be so hard to carry a baby for nine months and then give birth to it by herself. Women had been having babies for thousands of years, how was she any different? Birth was supposed to be the most natural thing ever, so why did this make her want to cower in shame?

It was for the baby, she had to remind herself of that. She couldn't keep it. They wouldn't let her keep it. The best thing that she could do now was get it someplace safe where it would be looked after and cared for. The hospital could decide what to do then. She was too young to know what the right thing was. She just knew that she couldn't make any more mistakes. If it were up to her, there was one thing she would do right by this baby, and that was get it to a safe place. Somewhere she could walk away without a fight.

The baby, she…she was so little. Sharpay noticed how tranquil the child seemed.

So…unmoving. So…lifeless.

Babies were supposed to cry, weren't they? That's how they start to breathe. It wasn't crying… In fact, if it weren't her own baby it could've fooled her for a little doll. The face was frozen like porcelain. The tiny hands lay limply on the tile floor.

And that's when another sensation started to creep in...dread? No, not dread, panic. Utter panic awakened inside of the young seventeen year-old. Her fingers went to the stomach of the baby.

"No, no, no, no…" she choked over and over, using every last bit of strength to hold herself together.

She prayed silently for a squeak, a cry. A gasp from the newborn human being, anything.

Her gut said to slap its bottom, like she saw the doctors do in the movies. But how could she do when her hands were shaking?

"Cry, cry…" she pleaded to the assumed dead child. Maybe her will was enough to bring it to life. Oh no…time was running out. She was no doctor, but she knew that the child should've been using its lungs by now.

Oh no, it hadn't.

"Cry, little angel," she begged. Her hands convulsing and fumbling to roll the child over, she had no idea what to do.

And then it cried.

...

"I didn't think she was gonna end up with me. I didn't know it would hurt so much. I didn't think I would care so much."

Troy's heart broke when he envisioned the story she just told him. Sharpay pain, dead baby. Alive baby. Give it up. Keep it. Raise it.

After everything he had already put her through. No wonder the girl was breaking.

"But you saved her. You did what you were supposed to do."

"I could've killed her," she said coldly.

Sympathy became apparent on his tired face, "No, no Sharpay." And he took her hand for the umpteenth time. He kissed it. The mother of his child. Where was her voice? Where was the girl he grew up with? Where had she gone?

"Sharpay, do you remember our first day of second grade?"

If the memories of elementary weren't good for Sharpay you wouldn't have been able to tell. Her face was blank. She stared off into the distance. Her head nodded up and down, an answer.

"You were already in the classroom by the time my mom dropped me off. And I remember feeling so happy when I saw you, because I didn't know anybody else in my new classroom."

"We were the only kids from Miss Baldwin's class the year before."

Sharpay quickly turned to him, giving him all of her attention right away.

"You're right," he smiled. He squeezed her hand. "And we sat next to each other the whole day and we weren't afraid because we had each other."

"What happened?" Sharpay said with a pained expression. She didn't look upset, she looked confused.

Troy let his head hang down, "I made new friends."

"And I didn't." There was a sad quietness.

* * *

Sharpay leaned up from the sofa chair she had fallen asleep in. The room was so quiet, even with the billion machines and their beeps and their buzzes. She looked at the clock and saw it was too late to go home. Jack and Lucille had probably put Celeste in bed hours ago. That was okay, they'd stayed there before.

She let her eyes fall upon the man that used to kiss her and hold her. He seemed like a stranger now, it was like he moved to a different country, where he couldn't ever call or write.

She brushed her hair out of her face and sighed.

"Six years old, Troy," she said, "six years old. You have no idea how amazing she is."

The only response he would ever give were the sound of his machines that would beep. He looked so peaceful, just like he was asleep. He was, it just wasn't the kind he would wake up from. Her legs stretched out and she stood up. She moved closer to the bed.

Sharpay touched his face. She leaned down and kissed his forehead. He and Celeste, they kind of looked alike when they slept.

"I know you're in there, Troy," she whispered. She looked down at her left hand, the ring on her finger, she never took it off. It was his promise that they would be a family forever. They were going to be a real family with the same last names. She still wore it, after all these years. And she wouldn't take it off until the day they unplugged him.

"I'm sorry I don't come visit more, it just hurts too much," her voice broke and almost instantly she was in tears. She sank down next to him, crouching beside the bed.

"I'm sorry you're daughter turned six today and you didn't even get to see her face. I'm trying really hard to bring her up but it's so hard without you. I can't even take her to a Wildcats game. I know you really wanted to do that with her. I've tried Troy, I'm sorry I'm letting you down."

She scoffed when she finally accepted she was apologizing to no one. She was talking to no one. He was a body, but he wasn't there. It wasn't him. _"There was an accident, baby. It made his head bleed, and it made him go to sleep."_ That was what she told Celeste when she eventually realized that her "sleeping daddy" wasn't like other daddies. He didn't buy her toys at the store, he didn't take her to the park. He couldn't even talk.

He loved them. They all knew that he loved them. His two girls, his entire world.

"If he loves us, he'll come back to us, Mommy," Celeste said one day. Sharpay nodded her head quickly and grabbed Celeste. She pulled her tightly into her chest and held on to the last piece of Troy that was truly alive. She wouldn't let go, she couldn't let Celeste see the tears sprinting down her cheeks.

…

 **Wow lots of emotions, lots of pain, lots of sobbing, I'm evil. XOXO.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Full disclaimer: I own nothing regarding High School Musical. Also, sincere apologies for the wait, and let me warn you this chapter skips around a lot so I'm sorry if it gets confusing!**

…

"Everything is so different than I thought it would be," Sharpay said to her mother. The two of them sat in Sharpay's dark bedroom, after getting Celeste back to sleep.

"I'm serious. I didn't things could ever be this good. Troy's exactly who I always thought he was. He's kind and loving. He's such a great father," she sighed.

They went out as a family this night, the three of them. An evening picnic on the lawn of Lava Springs; the night air was calm and silent. No cars, no loud voices, only the sounds of nature. It was perfect.

Troy brought turkey sandwiches for them, and cold applesauce for the teething Celeste. She was seven months old, and every time Sharpay looked into her eyes she saw Troy. Troy always said the same about Sharpay.

"I thought at first already having Celeste things would go fast but they really haven't. He's been so patient, at first with the depression and now with school. I didn't think he'd be here like he is."

"Well you two should have equal responsibility as far as school and activities. The theatre isn't any less important than basketball. That's how both of you are getting into college."

"We know, Mom," Sharpay said hearing the judgment in her mother's voice. She wasn't mad, she knew her mother was only trying to defend her but she didn't need to.

"It worked out really well though. I mean I'm not ready to leave Celeste right now any more than I have to. I can wait for the spring musical, I don't mind."

The arrangement was practical and actually simple. Sharpay would take care of Celeste after school during basketball season and Troy would take care of Celeste in the spring so that Sharpay could do her senior show. Celeste would always be with one of her parents and both of them could still do what they loved.

"I just want it to be fair," her mother said. "I don't like seeing you up here in your room all the time while Troy still gets to go out and play with his friends."

"And next semester I'll get to go out and play with my friends, it is fair. Mom, this is my life now and I don't regret any of it."

"I know me either, I'm sorry," she said quickly. "It's just that…well, you're still a kid to me. And you've lost a lot and sacrificed a lot."

"But I'm happy," Sharpay smiled thinking about the baby sleeping in the room next to hers. And she hadn't sacrificed much she felt. Did her mom not realize how blessed she was? With an amazing boyfriend and the most beautiful and perfect daughter? She didn't have to worry about money or someone to watch Celeste during school. So she missed out on the fall musical, big deal.

"I love you," Darby said getting up and kissing Sharpay's forehead, something she never used to do. Becoming a mom made them so much closer. They never talked before, they never acknowledged each other's presence. They barely knew each other and now they talked every day. Another wonderful thing Celeste was responsible for. She was nothing but a blessing.

"Good night," they said to each other. Just as she left the room Sharpay's phone vibrated.

 _I love you. Thank you for being the best mother to my child and I can't wait to see your beautiful face tomorrow morning._

Troy's corny texts. He was so romantic and she just wasn't anymore.

 _Love you too. I'm going to bed. You should too. I gave Sissy a kiss good night for you._

She rolled the covers down and climbed into bed. Yes, she was very blessed and no, she didn't deserve it. How did she end up with both of them? How could a mean girl like her make such an angel of a baby? One thing was for sure, Celeste was changing her. She was much softer and more compassionate, to everyone-even the freshmen. Kelsi…good grief Kelsi. On the first day of school Kelsi's timid eyes squinted when Sharpay greeted her friendly. It was like she thought it was a trap. But when Sharpay was nice all throughout home room and lunch, she finally realized that it was a completely different Sharpay.

And sure people talked. They talked about what had happened earlier that year but Sharpay didn't care. She forgave them, she would've done the same thing. She had Troy, he stood up to his friends when the whole thing first happened.

"I told them that if they wouldn't accept you then I couldn't be their friend anymore." And they all accepted her. When she went back to school she expected to hear something rude or hurtful, but she never did. They were as nice to her as if she was their friend all of those years.

Things were going well. She was happy. Not because she was rich and had stuff other people couldn't afford, she was happy because she had friends and family. For the first time.

…

Troy looked down through the glass frame in the jewelry department. He was totally out of his mind, she would never say yes to him, not when they hadn't even graduated. Besides, he couldn't afford anything that was good enough for Sharpay. The ring she would want would probably cost as much as his car. He honestly couldn't tell a difference between a $500 ring and a $5,000 ring, but good lord Sharpay definitely would, and he wanted it to be perfect.

"Looking for something special, son?" the older jewelry clerk asked smiling.

"Yes, but I don't know if she will like what I pick out."

"Well here," she said bending down and pulling out her keys to unlock. Her arm reached into a hidden compartment behind the counter and she pulled out a display of rings. They were all beautiful.

"This is my personal collection of favorites. Do you know her ring size?"

He reached into his pocket and laid a ring of Sharpay's on the counter. "I swiped this when she wasn't looking."

"That's a six, okay well if you pick out one you like, we can order it for you and it'll arrive sometime within the next two weeks."

"Okay he said," beginning to inspect each one. Many had square cut diamonds, he liked those. Then there were some that were circle cut with little crystals all around.

Then there was one that caught his eye.

It was the most beautiful one. It screamed "Sharpay." He picked it up and rotated it in every direction. The little diamonds around the band were truly beautiful, but what he thought was cool was the way the band looked like it had been braided. And the braids wrapped up into the top where the large diamond sat.

This was it.

"I think this is the one," he said laying it down in front of the lady. She nodded and picked it up.

"This is my favorite," she said beginning to work on the computer. Troy watched her type in the information as he gave it to her.

"And you know you can make payments on this?"

"No I didn't, but that's a relief," he said. He had very little money put away, the last thing he could afford was a ring like this.

"So how long have you been with your lady?"

"Not long, less than a year." He expected the lady to sigh or make some kind of gesture at the quick engagement.

"That's not too bad, I've met people here who have known each other for days. Or less…"

"We have a baby together, also," Troy added. The lady smiled while still concentrating on the computer.

"You got a little boy or a little girl?"

"A little girl. We're pretty young but she's the best thing that's ever happened to us. I don't know what I would do without her or her mom." Talking about them almost brought Troy to tears, they were his whole life. The lady continued to listen through nods and smiles.

"I hope it stays this way for you forever, young man," she said finishing up the order.

"I do too," he said.

* * *

Sharpay was in a deep slumber. Her eyelids barely moved even though she could hear the voice saying her name.

"Sharpay," she felt something tapping on her arm. Her eyes opened to Lucille leaning over her, she was in Celeste's bed.

"What time is it?" she shot out of bed quickly. "I've got to get Celeste to school!"

"Grandpa already took her, it's alright. We knew how tired you were."

"I don't even remember leaving Troy's room last night."

Lucille sat down next to the awake Sharpay. Both ladies leaned in toward each other for a hug.

"You've done a really good job with her. We're all so proud of you." Sharpay squeezed the woman who was almost her mother, and in her heart, she was. God they were good grandparents. They were so good to both of them. Whenever she needed them, it didn't matter the hour or the day. They were always there and they would put the entire world on hold for them.

"There's no way I could do it without any of you." Sharpay hid her face in her hands. She heard Lucille ask, "I'm going to pick up some lunch, do you want me to bring you back something?"

She looked at the clock, it was eleven. She needed to go home and shower. Or clean, or do something.

"I need to go home. I should clean before it's time to pick up Celeste, you know her, you can't get the house done with a six year old." The older woman smiled sadly. Sharpay walked right past Troy's room on her way out, not looking in for anything. She couldn't handle it right now.

"Thank you," she told her as she stepped out of the beautiful family home. Celeste's father's home.

"I love you, sweetie," Lucille said grabbing her and kissing her cheek.

"I love you, too," Sharpay whispered over her shoulder.

Was Celeste lucky to have her as a mother? Like she was with Darby? Like Troy was with Lucille? Did Celeste get screwed on this one? She often wondered about how much she deserved Celeste. It was a joke, she didn't. She didn't deserve one bit of her and yet, she came from her…from both of them? How in the world could an angel like Celeste come out of all of that?

She often wondered.

* * *

"Sissy? Where's Sissy?" Troy giggled behind the corner of the chair. Sharpay recorded the event on her camera.

"Celeste, Celeste," Sharpay called. With her focus on the lens her hand still waved rapidly at the cheerful one year old who was stomping her chubby feet around the living room. She was giggling and squealing so loudly as her daddy peeked his head out from behind the furniture. Oh she was so happy.

She set the camera on the table where all three of them could be captured.

"Let her walk to me, Troy!" the young mother said, and Troy picked up the Pepsi and handed it to Sharpay while little bright eyes followed the exchange. She went straight to her mother, who was holding the Pepsi.

"One sip," Sharpay said and pulled the can away when she heard Celeste's lips smack. She passed the can of Pepsi back to Troy before Celeste could see.

"Mwah!" she said over exaggerating her kisses all over the baby girl. "Kiss, kiss, kiss because I love you so much," she said pulling her into her arms for the tickles that they both loved dearly. Celeste's laughs were so loud they were almost screams.

"Let's get Mommy," Troy said sneaking up on her. And he pinned Sharpay on the carpet and put Celeste on top of her chest. His fingers dug into the sides of her stomach and she squealed just as loudly as Celeste was.

"No, Troy, stop, I can't take it!" she screamed with the hugest smile on her face. "I give, I give!"

"What do you think Celeste do you think Mommy's had enough," he said with clenched teeth and trying not to laugh.

Sharpay struggled to breathe she was laughing so hard, "You'll be sorry, Troy!" she hollered. After what seemed like eternity Troy finally let her break free of his amusement as he was laughing too hard himself.

She sat up with Celeste who had resorted to pulling her long curly blonde hair.

"Yeah just you wait, Troy Bolton. Your time is coming soon…"

"I'm sorry, Shar," he smiled evilly. Sharpay took deep breaths in an attempt to catch her breath. Her stomach was so sore and if it weren't for the baby girl in her arms, she would've tackled Troy long ago. This was her favorite time. These moments were the best, and she knew that she would have to save them in her heart because one day Celeste would be all grown. It was depressing when she really thought about it. She took a moment to save this moment because one day it would be a memory.

But at this moment, there was only really one thing left to say. She pulled Celeste up to her face and kissed her flushed red cheeks,

"Let's get Daddy…"

…

That night they put Celeste to bed together.

And then they retreated to Sharpay's room. Their hands made their way to one another, his strong hands, and her soft grasp. Troy closed the door with his foot as Sharpay was pulling him to the bed.

* * *

Sharpay let her purse fall to the floor as soon as she walked through the door. She would have to go pick Celeste up from school in a few hours, she needed a shower. She didn't want to shower though, she just wanted to go back. If she could go back in time and talk to her teenage self, she would tell her to do so many things differently. Like, don't be afraid to let other people help. Don't argue about the stupid stuff. Say what you mean. Make hugs longer. Don't be afraid to love yourself.

Her lips parted, and instead of a scream or a cry coming out, something soft and delicate did.

"Suddenly I am center stage, suddenly I am not afraid, suddenly I believe again in the blink of an eye. My dreams begin to reign." The song came out of her so easily. It was strange because she never sang anymore, only when Celeste begged her to. She actually surprised herself.

"I want to say love me for me what's inside, I'm gonna be positive, not run away, so much for you, this is my life," she sang to herself as she looked for the video tape. She needed to see them together. She needed to hear Troy's voice right now like she needed the air.

She searched for half an hour before realizing that it was probably still at her parent's house. She didn't take much stuff from her high school years with her when she had moved. She had watched videos of them over and over and over. She hated basketball, and she had watched every game of Troy's a million times. It was when Celeste started to talk that she quit watching those videos, because she couldn't stand to hear Celeste scream "Daddy!" every time Troy's face appeared on the screen. It made her feel like a piece of shit mom.

She closed her eyes. _Love yourself_ , she said inside. _Love you because Celeste loves you._

 _Celeste, school. Go take a shower._

"Suddenly I am in front of the lights…"

...

 **Rubbish chapter, sorry it wasn't very long. Hopefully next time it won't take me as long to update! I also appreciate the reviews, extremely. P.S. I can't wait until this story is finished. XO!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for reading this. If you can find it in your heart please leave a review.**

...

Sharpay rolled over to the edge of the bed. She knew she was sleeping way too much lately but she just couldn't help it.

"Mommy?" she heard little footsteps pat against the floor.

"I'm hungry. Will you make pancakes?" She turned to her alarm. It was 7 PM, she had only intended on sleeping for half an hour.

"I'm so sorry, Sissy," she said getting out of bed quickly. Celeste followed her mother in the kitchen.

"Why don't you go watch TV and I'll make some pancakes and we can watch a movie when they're done. You don't have school tomorrow, we can stay up late."

"Girls night!" Celeste squealed racing off to the living room. Sharpay hurriedly mixed the batter and had the skillet on. They never had pancakes at night and Celeste rarely stayed up past 8:30 it. But fuck it.

Sharpay found Celeste sitting on the floor when she walked into the living room with the pancakes. She sat down on the ground next to her.

"There's no syrup, Mommy?" Celeste pointed to the whipped cream on her pancake, where the pool of syrup usually was.

"Whipped cream tastes just as good, and it won't keep you up all night. I want you asleep before the movie's over."

"Not. Gonna. Happen," the little girl smiled taking a bite of her pancake. Sharpay kissed the top of her head.

"What movie did you pick out?"

Celeste set her fork down on her plate to hold up the DVD next to her.

"Tarzan? Like we haven't seen that a million times."

"But the monkeys!" Celeste squealed. Sharpay grabbed the DVD and stood up to put it in the DVD player. "You're a monkey," she said.

"No you are," the little girl teased back.

Sharpay ran back to sit next to her. "I'm sorry I was asleep for so long, Sissy."

"It's okay," Celeste said no longer paying attention as the opening scene began to roll. Sharpay turned towards the screen. The opening scene began with the family escaping burning ship, which she always found a little brutal. Then it would cut to the life on the island and then back and forth with the gorillas. Celeste's eyes watered when the little baby gorilla was chomped out by the leopard. She personally thought that it was violent for a kids' movie, but it was Celeste's favorite. She loved the monkeys.

They would play monkeys for hours after watching Tarzan. "I'll be the mommy and you be the baby," Celeste would say. Sometimes they would even fall asleep on the floor if it was past Celeste's bed time.

Sharpay questioned herself. It seemed like Celeste's bed time happened to be more and more inconsistent lately. And honestly "girls' night" was just an excuse; it didn't make it any less irresponsible on her part. She knew a child needed stability and consistency. And not to mention, the house was still a mess.

Troy's mother had suggested for her to see a counselor. Sharpay thought about it, nobody would understand. No one would understand her feelings of guilt and isolation. How she loved Celeste more than anything in the world and yet even the very sound of her laughter…sometimes it would make her cry. Because her laugh was just so much like Troy's.

She tried to enjoy the movie, but her focus was on the mistakes she had seemed to be making quite often. They added up to bad parenting. She needed to do better.

…

Sharpay laid Celeste on the couch while she cleaned up the living room. She carried their plates and cups into the kitchen and loaded them into the dishwasher. Her house was still a mess. It was after ten now, Celeste had fallen asleep halfway through the film.

Sharpay had held her in her arms for the rest of it. She held her like she used to when she was a little baby. "I'm trying really hard, angel," she had whispered.

But God she knew how much she had been screwing up.

She decided to clean the kitchen. She swept, mopped with the Swiffer, cleaned the countertops, the insides of the stove and microwave, and set the trash outside the back door. Then she retreated to the living room. Celeste's toys were all over the floor. She quietly picked them up one by one, and carried them back to Celeste's room.

She picked up more toys on the floor in the bedroom, there were so many.

She sat down on the little pink bed that Celeste slept in half of the time. She covered her mouth with both hands, breaking into sobs.

"What is wrong with me?"

She was faking it every second of every minute of every day; and how much longer could she fake it? She had no idea what she was doing.

Troy. What happened? Why did things have to happen the way they did? Why did it have to cost Celeste her father? It was all her fault. There was never a second when she didn't blame herself.

"Troy, I'm trying," she sobbed. She never admitted to anyone that she talked to Troy, all the time. They would think she was crazy. She knew he wasn't there, but it helped to pretend that he was. It helped in every way possible.

"Mommy!" she heard Celeste holler from the living room. She wiped the dampness underneath her eyes and darted off to the cries of her child.

"I'm here, I'm here," she said picking her daughter up and carrying her to her own room. "You can sleep with me tonight."

In only a minute the little girl was fast asleep again. But for Sharpay, it would be many, many hours before she got any rest.

* * *

Their hands intertwined under the cover. Sharpay was still asleep but Troy had been going in and out of sleep for hours. God, she was so beautiful with no makeup. He wanted to tell her that but he knew she would get offended, even if it was a compliment.

A little fuss came from the next room. Celeste had slept through the night, she was waking up. Troy moved out from her brace easily trying not to wake her.

"Coming, baby," the young father whispered. He walked into the next room over and smiled proudly as he greeted the child that inherited his blue eyes.

His arms reached down and scooped up the whimpering baby, then he pressed his lips against her temple. "Good morning, Sissy." Her cries ceased immediately, "Did you have any bad dreams? You know Daddy will scare the monsters away."

Troy patted the little baby's back and paced with leisure across the room, bouncing the girl. While he held her up against his shoulder, he was slightly jealous that Sharpay got to wake up to this every day.

"I need to ask you something, Sis. Would you like to wake up with Mommy and Daddy every single day?"

He waited patiently for a response.

"No? Well what if I promise to make you guys breakfast every single morning before you even wake up? Pancakes? Wouldn't you like that?"

The little girl began to stretch and yawn in his arms.

"Hey does that mean yes? Can Mommy marry me? Do you object?"

Celeste remained silent, her eyelids began to close.

"I think that's a yes!" he said with a soft gleam of enthusiasm. Man he was so lucky. He had the most amazing woman in the entire world, and their daughter…she was going to be intelligent. Troy knew that from the minute he first held her. He knew she was special, gifted.

"Good morning…" his thoughts were interrupted by the woman he was just speaking about. He turned and saw her standing in the doorway, rubbing her eyes, which meant she hadn't been standing there long.

"Good morning," he said as she kissed his cheek.

…

They laid outside on the grass later that night, right underneath the stars. Troy admired the ring on his beautiful newly engaged fiancée. "It looks like it was made for you."

"It almost doesn't seem real," she whispered as she snuggled closer into him on the soft grass. The summer night couldn't have been more beautiful.

"I asked your dad. He asked me if I was sure I could handle you. I said I like a good challenge."

Sharpay slapped his arm, "Hey, I'm a damn good time."

He pulled her hand up to his lips, they pressed against it. "You like your bling bling?"

"Ehh. You did pretty good, I guess." Troy's fingers immediately dove into the sides of her body and tickled her until she squealed.

"What'd you just say? Huh? Huh?" he laughed as he pinned her down.

She shook her head, "No, no I'm sorry!" She gasped for air and squirmed, he kissed her all over but didn't let go.

"I love it! I give! Mr. Bolton! I give! I give! I love it!"

And then he sighed releasing her from his death grip.

"Do you really like it? If you don't we can go back and you can pick out anything you want."

"Are you kidding? It's beautiful," she breathed, attempting to catch her breath. In reality, Troy could have made a ring out of newspaper and Sharpay would've loved it. Every moment spent with him, was a gift. He was a man, and he was a wonderful father. She knew he would be a wonderful husband. Her only doubts lied within her own self.

"I guess I have to learn how to cook now. And clean."

"Oh I am perfectly happy with cooking and cleaning as long as I get to wake up to your beautiful face every morning."

Sharpay smiled at the thought of the two of them married. Never in a million years did she think that she would grow up to marry Troy Bolton. They were polar opposites for most of their life, she never dreamed she'd have a chance. It was his eyes, she could never look away. And his voice…his kind heart.

"If we fight we have to go outside. Never where Celeste can see us. Or hear." He interrupted her reminiscence.

"You're right," she said. That was very important to her. Her parents didn't fight much, but she watched enough TV and music videos to know that it wasn't good for a kid. She had a happy childhood, she wanted the same for her daughter. She would never scream at Troy with Celeste around, no matter how upset she was.

"I want another baby too, after college of course," Troy said putting a hand over Sharpay's stomach.

"Me too. And do things the right way. Have it in a hospital with drugs." She often thought about the joy of being pregnant, something she never experienced. It must feel so much different to have a life growing inside of you and not being scared, but being excited.

"I'll be there through everything. I can't wait."

"You say it like it's going to happen tomorrow."

Troy sighed and nodded his head, "Just see. It'll all come sooner than you think."

The reality would soon set in, Sharpay was going to be a wife.

A minivan. That was going to be her future. Spills, broken crayons, more spills, endless diapers, tantrums, tears, even more spills, and sleepless nights. It was her future. Years ago the thought of that would've made her keel over and die, instantly. Just the thought of having to clean up after someone else, it would've made her sick. She was a star, stars didn't do the dirty work.

All of that changed the moment she picked Celeste up from the bathroom floor. She would always be tired, she would never have it together, and she would question herself as a mother in everything she'd ever do. But was it worth it? Absolutely.

Sharpay held up her hand to examine her ring again. It was more beautiful each time she looked.

"Is it everything you've ever wanted?" he asked with sincerity, only wanting her to have the desires of her heart. His goddess, his queen.

"I already have everything I ever wanted."

* * *

Sharpay had been lying in bed for hours. Her blank eyes were fixed on the ring that was given to her so long ago. It felt like it had been centuries.

They had brought it up again. Pulling it. Letting go of him.

The ring looked the exact same as the night he got down on his knee in front of their family. When she gasped at the very sight of it, and felt such a wave of emotion when he asked her the question. "Will you marry me?" She had almost choked answering, but she managed to answer, "Yes."

If they did it, would she have to take the ring off? It was such a comfort to her, like a blanket that a child refuses to give up even when they're told they're too old for it. It made her feel safe, for whatever reason she would never understand. It was just a ring. A band and a rock.

Sharpay knew that Troy wasn't coming back. He was so long gone, his soul, his voice. Every time she saw him it only hurt more, another moment would pass and his eyes would remain closed.

He didn't follow her voice back, though she used to plead for him to. "Listen to me, follow my voice. Come on let's sing." The father of her child, he would stay silent.

"You and me together, through the days and nights, I don't worry 'cause everything's going to be alright. People keep talking they can say what they like, but all I know is everything's going to be alright. No one, no one, no one…can get in the way of what I'm feeling…"

Her throat cracked every time. She would grab his hand and let go and regret for even trying, every single time.

It wasn't fair to any of them. Not his precious parents, or their darling granddaughter. It certainly wasn't fair to Troy. If he could speak, what would he say?

" _I'm tired, Shar. I'm so tired. I've been asleep for so long but I can't rest, not like this."_ She imagined him sitting up in bed holding her hand. He would tell her that he'd hold on forever for them, but in his heart, he would be screaming to let go.

And when Celeste got older, when she started asking to go visit Daddy at his house…she knew it was time. What Sharpay was asking of him…he had been strong so long and he needed to rest. He needed to be set free.

Even if it would kill her to let him go.

…

 **Crap ending to the chapter. Wait, you're still here? Still reading this? Bless you and please review. I'll give you a cookie!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Never in a million years did I imagine that this is where this story would go. It's been mediocre for the most part, but I'm finishing it. I'm determined AF. Less than three chapters left. Hang in there my friends.**

 **...**

It was raining outside. Celeste was playing on the living room floor with the new Barbies she got for her birthday. Sharpay sat frailly with her knees tucked against her chest in the chair by the window, watching her. Celeste talked in high pitch voices and she changed their accents occasionally. Sharpay bit her lips, the heaviness in her chest worsened.

How in the world was she going to explain it Celeste?

She had spoken to Lucille over the past couple of days. It was not their natural routine to visit Troy's home day after day. But with Celeste getting older and Troy remaining the same, they agreed. Celeste's image of a daddy was a man that didn't exist. Troy's body was the only thing that she knew, it was no different than a lamp or a rug. They weren't sparing Celeste heartache; they were prolonging it. Sharpay felt like she wasn't allowing her to know the difference between what was real and what wasn't.

"Sissy."

Celeste didn't react to her mother's voice, it was obvious that her toys were more interesting than her mother sitting in the window in deep thought.

Troy's family. His poor mom and dad.

Troy's father remained silent throughout the conversations. He agreed with them both, but it was hard to say the words out loud.

" _I love my son more than anything in the world. He's the only baby I ever had," Lucille explained, "but this selfish. This isn't right. He's not at peace. He needs to feel peace. He wouldn't want this for Celeste."_

Sharpay agreed, there was never any peace at Troy's house. It was a calm and relatively quiet environment, except of course when Celeste came to visit. But there was always an ominous and dark temperature that seemed to hang in the air.

It wasn't fair.

"Celeste," Sharpay said with no response again. Sharpay slid off of the recliner and crawled next to her daughter.

"Celeste Evangeline Bolton. I am speaking to you."

The six year-old looked up, her big beautiful blue eyes…goodness gracious, Troy's eyes… They looked back into hers with attention and reception. Sharpay's body trembled with fear.

"What's wrong?"

Sharpay's arms reached out, Celeste stared at her until Sharpay sniffled, then she dove into her mother's arms.

"I'm really sorry, Sissy. I need to talk to you about something. It's not about something good."

"Something bad?" Celeste asked with worry, she was an empathetic child. Sharpay was able to recognize this when Celeste was just a few years old.

"We're going to let Daddy go to sleep now." Celeste's expression continued to unfold, as if she was waiting for the big news. Then Sharpay remembered, to Celeste, this was nothing new. "Forever," she continued.

"But he's already asleep."

"No, angel. He's been in a coma, since you were a baby. It was just easier for us to tell you that he was asleep because when he had the accident you were too little to know what was going on."

"The accident that made him fall asleep?"

Sharpay nodded her head, "Except he doesn't sleep like we do. We wake up, he doesn't. When he had the accident he hit his head really hard. It put him in a coma and that's why he doesn't wake up."

The little girl pulled away, she looked up, visibly thinking.

"What does sleep forever mean?"

Sharpay's heart ripped apart. She had been rehearsing in her head all day how to word it, how to get inside the child's head what it meant to die. Until now, she had never experienced death.

"Well, it's really sad," Sharpay said quietly. Celeste was now completely concentrated on her mother's words, she sat listening, almost like she was about to hear a story. _Your family puts you in the ground, in a big casket. We'll put flowers all around you. And we'll bury you. Then you'll go live with the angels._

"It means that you get to go up to live with the angels, in the sky. And you don't come back down."

"In Heaven?"

Sharpay smiled and nodded her head. She felt like her insides were going to come up through her throat. It wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't supposed to have this talk with Celeste, all by herself. Please, like she was supposed to know what to say.

"But what happens when I want to go see him? If he's in the sky, how do I talk to him?"

 _You can't._

"It's really easy, Sis. It's even easier than it is for you to talk to him right now."

Celeste's eyes lit up, Sharpay wondered how she was supposed to carry on.

"You just close your eyes like when you're going to bed. Then you put your hand over your heart. He's in there. That's where he's always been, and in your heart you'll always be able to hear your daddy's voice."

"In my heart? How is he in my heart if he's in the sky?"

"He's always with you, Celeste. You don't have to be outside or looking up at the clouds to talk to him. His soul is in you. It's the same thing as when he was asleep in grandma and grandpa's house. You never got to hear his voice, but he was always there right?"

"Yeah."

"It's the same thing. Only now, you can talk to him anywhere. At school, in your tree house, in your bedroom, in the kitchen. He'll be with you wherever you go."

"But he's going to go to Heaven with the angels?"

Sharpay grabbed Celeste's little hands, she kissed them and cupped her face.

"Your daddy's been an angel for a long time. So he needs to go be with the other angels now."

It sounded so serene when she put it that way. In terms to where a six year old could understand. The truth was Troy wasn't going to live in the sky. He was going in the ground.

In dirt. With the maggots, and the worms. His body, what color would it turn afterwards? What kind of doctor would be there when they let him go? Or would they even need a doctor, couldn't a nurse just do it? Don't they literally just "pull a plug?" Would his body bloat? How long does it take for a corpse to ripen and fester before it dries up and leaves nothing left but a skeleton and some dust?

"Mommy?"

"What baby?"

Celeste was such a happy little girl; it was a rare occasion to see such a somber look on her face.

"Can I still go to grandma and grandpa's house?"

Troy's mom and dad. This was going to rip them to shreds, they would need Celeste more than ever now.

"Every day. If you want."

"Is everybody going to cry? I don't want to see everybody cry."

Sharpay held her child's hands in her own. She squeezed her eyes shut as the tears were finally released. She held Celeste tighter than she ever had before.

"It's going to be okay. We're going get through it together," and she pulled Celeste into her chest like she did when she was afraid or upset. She stroked her head and ran her hands through her hair.

She sang to her, like she did when she was a baby. God, Celeste was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She was a miracle. She often thought about the day she was born, and how different life would be without her. Except she couldn't imagine it. She couldn't imagine a life where they weren't together.

"Don't be afraid. Remember, daddy's right there with you, always."

"Anywhere?"

"Anywhere."

…

 _His body, it was just there. It just laid on the bed like any other pillow. His skin, it was like plastic; looking at it you wouldn't know that there was a person deep down in there…somewhere. Or at least once there was._

"She's six now, you know this. You know that her favorite color's purple. She likes to dance, God…she loves to sing. She loves to play basketball with her grandpa. She loves to wear your old t-shirts to bed."

Troy wouldn't miss out, she would not let him not know his own daughter. She would use her last breath to make sure that no matter what, Celeste and Troy would not ever be strangers. Not even a coma would get in the way of that.

"We eat a lot of pancakes," she half-cried, half-laughed. "Probably too much but…what can I say, she has your eyes. Can't say no."

As usual, he didn't reply. He just laid there.

Sharpay lowered her voice, "I was wrong Troy. We never should have done this to you, not this long."

She grabbed his hand, his cold hard hand. It was like holding a bar of soap or something, it had no feeling, ever.

"We're going to be fine. Okay?"

"Mommy?" she turned to find their daughter standing in the doorway.

"What is it, angel?"

"Grandma and grandpa want to talk to you." She said this while staring past Sharpay, to the man she knew as Daddy. That's what they told her he was, "Daddy." It broke Sharpay's heart each and every day that Celeste didn't get the chance to know him the way she was supposed to.

That man…he was so much more than what Celeste could ever dream of. He would've been the best father to her, he was the best father to her. It wasn't fair.

"Okay, stay here. Keep him company."

"Okay, Mommy."

Sharpay left the room while Celeste stood quietly in the doorway. She was six, but she knew that she would have to say good-bye soon. That's what they came over to talk about. They all had to say good-bye soon. No matter how much it was going to hurt.

* * *

"Hey! Where's my kiss?" Sharpay yelled as Troy ran down the driveway. "Text me when you get home," she called.

"Love you!" Troy said running as fast as he could to the car, and mumbling stupidities to himself for not getting that kiss. The rain was coming down so hard his mind was solely concentrated on getting inside the car. Oh well, he'd see her in the morning. Though he probably should've just asked to stay the night.

He turned on the car, the engine roared and the lights lit up. When the wipers swept the rain he could faintly see Sharpay waving from the door, he waved back but she probably couldn't see.

Minutes later, the headlights shone against the blacktop of the road but it was still difficult to see, even with the wipers going at the fastest speed possible.

Troy ran over a slippery spot on the road, he immediately eased on the brakes. Damn rain.

His puppy dog heart began to ache. Couldn't they live without one kiss for less than 12 hours? He gritted his teeth, fighting reason with his feelings. It was just one kiss, of course she could live without it.

His fiancé. He had a fiancé. She said yes. She gave him a daughter and then she gave him a brand new life. They would be graduating and getting married, they were going to be a real family.

He couldn't do it. It would keep him up all night long. Troy couldn't go home without kissing his two girls good-night. He eased on the brakes slowly and turned around. He should've just turned around when he was still at the house. It was just rain.

The tires spun uselessly for a second, the road was really wet but he was able to get turned around to head back towards Sharpay's house.

It rarely ever rained in Albuquerque, it was practically a desert year round. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea turning around, because at this point he could barely make out the road. He made it a little ways further, his foot on the breaks and the wipers swiping the glass frivolously.

 _He could almost see the lights to Sharpay's house, maybe if he could hurry up and get off the road-_

It jerked. His heart leapt and his eyes opened to the max.

Time slowed down for a moment. Troy saw everything happen as if it were under a microscope. He could already hear the stillness that would set in after the impact. The smell of coolant from the cracked radiator. The whistling in his ear, it pierced.

All of these things he could see and hear before they happened, and they did happen, when he slid off of the slick blacktop and flipped four times as the vehicle rolled down the cliff. There was a cliff. It hit the bottom and cracked like an egg.

" _I will always love you,"_ he heard her say. He heard every word she ever spoke.

* * *

His eyelids moved. Just a twitch at first, and then they opened a tiny bit to the brightest light that he never thought he would see again. He made a noise.

" _What?"_

" _Daddy?"_ he heard a young voice. " _Daddy? Are you waking up? I mean your coma? Are you quitting your coma?"_

The father of the child struggled to open his eyes completely. He squinted at the afternoon daylight; it was daytime, which meant that was the sun. And it was brighter than he remembered.

"Mmmmm," he accidently groaned trying to open his mouth. "Onnn," he fluttered his eyes and moved his lips up and down, trying to make a word. The child, it was her.

"Onnnnn, ga…"

"What?" Celeste said, walking closer towards the bed.

" _Celeste! Come here, we need to talk to you about something important."_ It was fuzzy. He knew that voice, the one who said his daughter's name. Celeste was his daughter, he knew who was staring right back at him.

" _Daddy? Are you finally quitting your coma? For real life this time? One time there was activity on your brain machine and they thought you were going to quit, but you didn't. This isn't like that is it? Mommy will cry again."_

Celeste. Sharpay. Why didn't he kiss her? Why did he leave them? Celeste was practically grown, had he really been gone that long?

" _How come you won't talk to me? Aren't you tired of keeping your mouth closed? Aren't you sick of sleeping all day? I sure would be. I hate it when I'm not allowed to talk."_

He understood every word she was saying. In this moment, Troy would've given anything in the world to be able to pick that beautiful little girl up, and lift her high into the air. If he could've just spun her around and around and toss her up like when he did when she was a baby. But he couldn't. At that moment, he couldn't even feel his own body. What happened? What took him away? What stole them from each other?

"MOMMY!" she yelled loudly, Troy's ears popped. He could hear hissing, suddenly he became aware of the wires and tubes attached and braided into his body. How did this happen? He was going back to Sharpay's house…but this room, it was familiar. It was his? How did he get back home?

"What's wrong?" a panicked voice shouted with footsteps accompanying. He would know that voice if he was deaf and blind, if the only thing he had was her breath on his skin, he would know who it was.

His eyes had become adjusted to the light, but his vision was coming and going with clarity. He couldn't move, or he would've shot out of bed when he saw her, standing there.

She met his eyes, they must've been as wide as his own. The beautiful blonde woman fell backwards. He heard a thud.

And all he could do was lay there.

…

 **UGH. I wish I was a better writer. I know that ending was abrupt, I did the best I could. If you want to leave a review...it would certainly make my day. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm still determined AF. Please review. Please.**

 **...**

Sharpay opened her eyes to Celeste hovering over her. She could hear Troy's mom and dad talking.

 _Lucille's voice was shaky. She was screeching at Jack, something about calling the hospital immediately._

Troy. It was Troy.

She saw his eyes, they were looking back at her. He was awake.

Sharpay ignored the little girl helping her up and the two frantic parents crowding the little corner that harbored their son. She couldn't look at anything else. It must've been a hallucination, or a dream. A bad, cruel dream. Because of the current situation her mind must've been creating some convincing daydream or delusion or hallucination.

She took his hand, it was still cold. But his eyes, those electric blue eyes were there; and they were looking right at her. Her hand squeezed his. They couldn't speak, either of them.

If this was a dream, it was one like she'd never had before.

A little hand took her free one, and she took her eyes away for a second to find Celeste hiding halfway behind her.

She looked back at Troy.

"Celeste," she whispered…barely able to say their daughter's name. The little girl peaked out at her father, clearly afraid for the first time.

"Troy…" she croaked.

Troy said nothing, staring at Sharpay, then at Celeste. His eyes were the only living thing left in him, or so it seemed.

"It's us, Troy." She let go of their hands to pull off the ring, the one that he gave her, and the one she never took off. _It's me._ She put the ring in his hand and closed it.

The man on the bed was screaming on the inside. He wanted to wrap his arms around them both. He groaned, setting off his parents and causing them to stir around beside him.

"Our granddaughter said that he was making noises and now we just heard him groan. No, he's awake goddamn it!" Lucille was shouting over the phone.

"I hope he's not in pain," Sharpay said moving out of the way for Lucille and Jack to step in and hover over Troy.

He was in no pain. He could barely feel anything, but he was starting to retrieve some senses. All he wanted to do was grab Sharpay and kiss her. And Celeste…she was probably five years old, or six, or seven. She was probably in school now.

His brain was all sorts of spit-fire. He knew he was in his room, he knew his parents were standing over him in panic. He wanted to rip the wires and tubes out of their woven knots from his body. Celeste. Sharpay. Celeste's eyes were still just like his. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

They were like looking at two angels when they were standing by his bed a minute ago. And he couldn't even tell them that he loved them.

He remembered the rain.

And the kiss, the one that he forgot. He just wanted to apologize.

The rain…

…

When they were sitting in the hospital waiting room Sharpay finally began to notice a little throb on the back of her head. She fainted. She had never fainted in her life.

Troy was up.

He had looked right at her, like he still knew her. There was no doubt in her mind that the man who had loved her all those years ago, was still in there somewhere. He just was, it was Troy. It wasn't just a body whose eyes opened and stared deep into her soul. It was Troy, when his eyes narrowed there was a glimmer of identity that she noted. He had her locked into his memory. And Celeste.

Troy's mother and father were inside the room talking to the doctor. She had agreed to wait outside the unit with Celeste. No one understood why he decided to wake up that day after so many years of brain inactivity. It didn't make sense, but neither would Troy's death. He was a healthy, fun, easy-going father and soon-to-be husband. The last five years would have been completely meaningless if it weren't for Celeste. She had saved them all.

"Sharpay," she looked up from her head being buried in her chest. Celeste adjusted herself in her chair when both Lucille and Jack approached them.

"He's still awake. You should see him."

Sharpay turned to Celeste, the little girl gazed on with concern.

"Would you like to stay out here with Grandpa and Grandma, and I'll come get you in a few minutes?"

"I want to see my daddy," she said.

"You will, but right now I need you to stay outside with Grandpa and Grandma. Then I'll come get you, I promise."

"Okay, Mommy." Sharpay smiled softly and with tire. She kissed her forehead, "I love you."

"I love you too, Mommy," Celeste answered as Sharpay rose up slowly. The room was just down the hall, it was where they had taken him after his last surgery.

Before she could take another step Lucille grabbed her and squeezed her tight. Sharpay fought to keep from crying.

After several deep breaths she headed towards the familiar unit. _Troy, awake, calm, don't cry. He's safe. We're all safe._

When she approached his door he was propped up in bed, still motionless but awake. That glimmer of identity was there when their eyes met.

For several moments they just stared at each other, it's what they seemed to be good at for the time being. She wasn't sure if he was understanding a word she was telling him. Maybe his head hurt, maybe he didn't want to hear her voice.

Sharpay stepped closer towards him; his eyes followed her, something that reassured her in an unspoken way. If she were being honest with herself, she would've accepted the fact that it actually was actually scaring her to see him…awake.

When she woke up in the morning she thought that he was going to be dead soon. The irony was just too much, it was almost supernatural.

"I love you," she said surprising herself. She hadn't planned on speaking but it seemed her gut was telling her otherwise.

"I just want you to know that I love you. I haven't stopped."

The man's expression remained the same. She walked right up to him and grabbed his hand, she kissed it and held onto it.

"I'm sorry, baby," she sobbed. She couldn't control herself in this moment, it was like the day when Celeste was born. The moment she couldn't stop herself from picking up the baby even though her mind was screaming for her not to. She was trying so hard to not confuse Troy with emotions-but she couldn't help it.

"Celeste is the most perfect little girl you could ever dream of. I'm sorry she got taken from you. It should've been me. I'm sorry…so sorry Troy…"

She dropped to her knees, gripping onto Troy's single hand with both of her palms. She sobbed and heaved not knowing what to say or how to feel. Her only hope had come true, her answered prayer, and now that it was right in front of her she had no idea how to act.

"I did the best I could. I kept her in a safe place the best I could. She knows how much you love her. I promise she knows as much about you as I do."

She looked up, he was dead centered focused at her. His eyes never left hers.

"Troy?" she asked sadly, desperately trying to find him in there. She cupped his face, "Troy?"

She sighed; it wasn't a surprise that he couldn't speak. She was just hoping he could understand her soft whispers.

His facial expression never changed, it was a serious undertone.

"We think about you every day. We celebrate every holiday and birthday with you. Your mom and dad have been there for us from day one." If he could understand her words, she was sure he would feel comfort knowing that.

"My mom and dad…we don't really talk anymore. I think they got tired. I haven't done a very good job handling any of this." Sharpay looked away, desperate to hide the pain and shame from the man she loved. She didn't want him to see just how messed up she was, but the walls of her being were crumbling, and the humiliation was breaking through.

"I feel so alone, Troy," she said wiping tears away. "Even with Celeste, and your parents…no one knows what it's like to be a kid, with a kid, and a fiancée who…"

Sharpay looked up to Troy, he was still holding his gaze down on her. He hadn't moved, or made any noise, there were no signs of life besides seeing his eyes open.

"All I'm saying is…don't go back there. Don't leave again because I won't know how to just move on again. If you go, I'll die."

She felt her hand tighten. She felt his hand grip hers.

Sharpay cried in relief with her jaw muscles hurting from smiling so largely.

"I love you, Troy. Stay here, with us."

He held her hand until she fell asleep crying, right by his side.

With his eyes still lingering on her. If she only knew what he was feeling, she would have no worries in the world.

He wasn't going anywhere. Ever again. And he loved them both more than life itself. He was so unbelievably proud of her. He saw that little girl, and he saw how healthy, and precocious and spirited she was.

Sharpay had done an amazing job with her, there was absolutely nothing she should have been sorry about.

And Troy longed for the moment when he could hold her in his arms and tell her this.

...

 **Please please please please please review. It seriously is the highlight of it all.**


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